Terrible's feeling

Oh my godness, it only left 1 month more then I need to have my SPM. It's so unbelieveable, but it's happening now. Why I am still wasting of my time, just like so relax. I said I want to find my passion back since the beginning of the year, but now, what have I done? NOTHING. It's just like... How to say that? Like I'm not having my exam and I never ever really care about it. Maybe some of my friends would like to say I'm lying or what cause I still can got the good result. But seriously, it's just because of the tips, I was study hard for the tips but not syllabus. I just can't and not dare to imagine how could I sit for the SPM, it's so horrible to me. I hate that kind of unfaithful's feeling! But I believe that if the God give me  1 more chance, I still lazy as what I'm doing now. I really feel so scare the kind of regret's feeling, it's so SCARY for me but still can't force me to do anything. Right now, I am lying on my bed and typing these non-sense to express my stupid's feeling. All of these are just excuses, I really can't forgive myself. It's good to study with those who very hardworking cause they really will influences you. I have such experiences so I decided want to study with them. Weeeee, guess what is the time now? It's 2:10 am now and I gonna say Goodnight cause I need to wake up 5:30am later. Yes, later! It's terrible but I get used with it. Bye.