Surprise

OMG, when I opened my Digi payment bill and I was surprisingly that I have spent RM139.99 last month, February. I said OMG, how it could be? I thought there are something wrong with the bill so I decided go to Digi center check.

Today was a busy day. I woke up 7:30am today because cleaners came to my house for housekeeping and I only sleep 3 hours I think. After four hours, the two cleaners left and I decided take a nap for awhile then only go to Digi Center with my mom but my mom told me we have to go Oriental Grace Travel to ask something and go China Bank( OSK Investment Sdn Bhd ) to take our China Visa.

After finished all those "works" and we went to Times Square finally. I called the Digi's stuff help me to check the payment and plan that I have took and I have told by the stuff everything was alright and the problem is because of my domestic usage. He told me that I have spent RM73.20 on my SMS, YES ONLY SMS. He said I have sent at least 800 something message last month and MY MOUTH LIKE OMG!!! I couldnt believe it but I have to. The stuff laughed at me and asked me whether I got use those apps such as Whatsapp, We Chat, Viber or Line something like that which SMS is for free and I answered I did! He also felt so surprise and he finally said PLEASE TRY TO CUT DOWN YOUR USEGE. HOW COME?! I really dont understand. Whatever, my mom said use her phone to SMS ba but it's different LOL.

We have our lunch - Papa Johns pizza, it's really delicious and please go and try it! Try the mushroom soup also!

These days are so busy, KINDA BUSY. Everyday wake up early and sleep lately. I have to stop here cause I havent bath and keep my stuffs and I have car lesson tomorrow. So, I hope I can update tomorrow. Goodbye and goodnight my babes.

ALL THE BES YA!

I'm missing you

I scrolled down my photo album and surprisingly saw a photo of him with me.

In this middle of the night, I admit that I miss him all of sudden and realised we do no get in touch for almost 1 to 2 weeks I think.

I think he has finished his exam right? We have no time to meet recently cause at least I know I have to finish the task first and get ready for the coming trip.

When I get my lisence and I can drive anyway then I have a chance to hang out with him and I hope we go to sing k cause he has promised me.

I do not enlarge the photo and just stop for a sudden and then let it go cause I'm not missing him that much like what I think I am.

I just dont undersand why I keep updating my blog today maybe I'm too boring but actually I have a lot of stuff to do but I just ignore.

I know I have to switch off my computer and drink a glass of water then continue to plan my trip or just go to sleep but as you guys know I'm a night owl so its so much impossible.

Well, I have to stop here cause I scare my mom wake up and come to scold me chatter me.

Bye and good night my love my friends my family.

2013/2/26

悲伤始终有一个尽头，剩下的只有祝福和思念
我知道如果那是我很亲的人，我一定很难才能走出伤痛
长达三个月的噩耗，我们仿佛已经接受这个不争的事实
谁也没再说什么，只是希望他能脱离同痛苦，谁永远都不会知道这个病带来巨大的痛时如何难以承受

今天遇见Yan，我们就在她老公车行隔壁的餐厅喝茶
她还是一如既往的健谈和开朗
谈起她老公一个月前撞车的事情，那个女司机弃人不顾逃离了现场
感叹人生是如何的变化无常，人类的生命是如此的渺小
我们像似宇宙里一粒渺小的沙尘，生命就好像如此的微不足道
当伤痛缠绕着我们，就如荆棘般刺伤我们的心，我们才惊觉这些事情就像噩梦一样，你无法预测

噢是的，我开始又向世界出发
3月9号我会到香港，澳门，珠海和广州自由行
一共是8天，赶在高中成绩放榜
最近一直收集质料，如果亲们有什么建议就pm我吧
赫赫，对不起呀，最近在淘宝看中国人的中文看多了，叫大家“亲们”了
想起淘宝我朋友发了一个email给我让我看购买东西的清单
嗯，很好，花了千多零吉，不是我个人噢，我妈咪也有参与
话说今天拨电话到珠海订酒店，我们马来西亚人习惯性地掺杂几句英文，害他们听不清楚呢

我还在疑惑要住香港迪尼斯好莱坞酒店还是澳门威尼斯酒店
话说迪尼斯好莱坞酒店虽然童话十足，可是设计只是一般般；
威尼斯酒店可是六星级酒店，设计是走欧美风路线，如此堂皇
真的很难取舍，我一直都想住迪尼斯酒店的啊，可是我现在很喜欢威尼斯酒店
妈咪说下次飞机票便宜才住迪尼斯乐园，我可是汗颜了
我可没那么多时间了，未来几个月要去读大学了

说起大学每个都问我选什么啊，请不要左右我的思想啦
俊豪说他读牙医，听到医科也是我的首选就一直怂恿我
说我们有个伴啦，我读他也读
我可是还在人生的抉择口，我还不知道我怕不怕尸体还是血之类的
而且要有很大的毅力，还是想清楚好

成绩预测在3月20日出，很担心啊
晚上临睡前都会想一回，心跳得可怕
还有就是下个星期二就要考车了，对于上山那方面没什么信心，我一直放不到handbrake,一紧张手脚就不协调了
好多事情要担心，真怕以后的大难题心脏会无法负荷

是人在遇见爱情会变白痴吗？我无法接受某人一直问我他下一句该怎样回他的女朋友什么之类的
这些事自己抉择就好嘛，干嘛问我，我又不是情场高手，无奈


 

RIP my cousin

I'm so sad to say that my cousin brother have passed away last Saturday at 7:30am.

Finally, he couldn't fight with the lung cancer, actually all of us know that.

I still remember all the words he told me, he have promised me if he recover from sickness and he will bring me out and chi-chat, but we still dont know he has cancer.

I actually have wrote so many post for him and what I only left now is just sadness.

I couldnt speak a word but I'm not crying.

Am I bad enough, I know we are not close at all before I get to know he was sick.

He started busy working so many years ago for his family and we no chance to see each other even once for Chinese New Year.

I'm so sad how he ended his life like that and I'm so much hate on his wife who throw him and her two son away.

This also main reason he can't even fight to the cancer, he was hopeless.

When he talked to his mom, he told his mom, my aunt, he cant take care of her anymore and called her mom do not argue with his younger brother anymore cause my aunt need someone to take care of she, and my aunt said she don't need anyone but my cousin brother. I just want to cry when I heard he said:" Sorry, mom. I wish to but I can't." Those words made me heartbroken.
Seriously, I should happy he passed away cause all of us could not imagine how painful the cancer bring to him.

Doctor said it's more painful than a mother give birth. He need injected strong maffine everyday.

He was so handsome when he was healthy and young. Yeah, he was young that time, he passed away but he only 32 years old.

I still remember his pale face staring at me and he was so hard to speak a word. I also could see he is sweating because of his pain. He became so thin like a paper thick and some of his skin started to decay and decompose.
----------------------------

I hope he rest in peace and find his happiness in the heaven and bless his chidren grow happily.

You're just selfish and nothing

If I used to be independent, I will not ne the one who you think anymore.

You should appreciate who I am now, you could not require more than that, you're greedy and never satisfied. You never appreciate what you have and just want more, such a greedy creature.

You want me be more independent, okay, I will learn, I will never be who you think I am again.

I will never ask for your help or any opinion, I act like what I want to.

You will be regret and I will not give you chance cause you never learn from mistake and be so selfish, and you think who you are, you are just nothing, you dont know anything, you just TALK but act nothing.

You think you're smart enough when you was young but actually the world have changed, when you meet that I think what you only have is just panic.

You think you're smart and brave and when the trouble come, you cant solve and you need and wait for others help.

I'm learning to be indepndent and smart. I'm growing phisyically and also mentally. I just dont be so fast and you refuse that.

Okay, I understand. I will let you know who I actually am and you're just nothing when I'm being strong. YOU WILL REGRET AND YOU NO CHANCE TO SAY SORRY.

I'm angry maybe I will be nothing after that but the thorn is inside my heart. You said you dont need anybody accompany and you can be alone and do all the things, but I cant see where's your ability.

Okay, I will look for it and see how your capability.

网购

这几天简直是疯了，疯了的在网购

足不出户也能花钱，真是悲哀啊

我妈咪现在一起床就说网购吧，瞧她还兴奋过我

价钱不是个问题，毕竟一分钱一分货

有些很便宜的品质不好买了一下就报销了，贵的品质较好

最大的看点就是可以买在马来西亚看不到的东西，想到眼睛都冒爱心了

对于我这爱夸张的小姐很难在马来西亚买到我的心头好，可是在网站就看到很多有的没的

就这样我的钱像流水一样流走了，真是挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩啊

最讶异的莫过于看到一个中国姑娘亲手设计的羽毛靴子，回头率100%啊

不过啊，这些靴子都不是大多数女生的菜，他们一定不敢穿出去

最近看电脑荧幕都看疼了，对眼睛不好可又无法制止

我的清单可是一条街那么长了，要不是怕货不对版还有怕鞋子尺寸有差，要不然好多鞋鞋都会买回来的

都搞不清为什么中国姑娘的脚那么小巧，很多都只卖到39号，难道他们的鞋码比我们大吗

好多靴子马来西亚都无法买到的，真的很想飞去中国扫货啊

 

最近表哥一直来找我，我看他是想要招我进会员吧

可是我最不喜欢就是要哎三道四的求别人帮我买东西，直销这家事可真的不喜欢

我表哥真的蛮厉害，做到红宝等级了

喜欢跟他呆在一起的原因是-在他身上可以学到很多东西，视野真的被扩展了

 

落实了啊，3月5号考车，希望我真的学得好啊

对于pratical的事物我一向不强，希望给个合格我吧

考了车，再多的事情也不是借口了

学英语啦，打工啦还是什么的

也许真正的生涯就要开始了，希望顺顺利利

阿门，阿尼托佛，呵呵，我是无神主义者

 

最近哥哥老拿着我的电话玩，一拿就拿几个自钟

所以啊，我没复信息的朋友们，应该是你的信息部很重要所以就没复咯，别小气噢

（某人，你明白吧，嗯？）

My day, 17/2/2013

Facebook friends - 777
Twitter follower - 77
Instagram - 74

It seems like 7 has become my lucky no. Before that, 3 and 6 are my lucky charm.
I list this statistic just show how boring I am.

-OMG, can the woman besid just stop talking and sleep properly? I really want to shout PLEASE KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! her voice just damn annoying!

- I fed my dog just now and it really scared me cause it wanted to go out from the gate when my dad back from outside, i scared it bites someone. my dog so huge i think it properly scare people. my dog walked around and it went to the small pond and drank the water ( it scared my fish ). it also ate my small dog - kiki 's food but it has its own food too.

- i want to share that our household has a very responsible security man. he always remind us that we forgot close our gate house or my car's sportlight didnt switch off. HAHA

IMAGINE

♥1D = My Life♥‏@OfficNiallGirl

@ValantinezLing imagine this is how Harry Looks at you from across the room. He's thinking how beautiful you are pic.twitter.com/TiNCIfhV

 

 

Oh yeah, thank you @officNiallGirl did that for me! I love her so much! The best imagine I ever have!

怎么可以这样

没想到，真的没想到

这件事里，真的是家家有难念的经

 

看了她的推特

没想到她父母竟然可以这样

已经道歉了却还不被接受

 

虽然说还是有部分的父母还是反对孩子恋爱

既然他的父母不允许

她也承诺不恋爱还道了歉

 

真的不知道他父母其实在想着什么

每个父母都不是爱孩子的吗

况且像她那样成熟，聪明和懂事的孩子

她，

是学校的模范生

她，

全级十名以内

她，

会做家务会做饭

她，

很坦白很乖

 

也许只能说父母太过得寸进尺

有些父母永远不会满足

他们认为我们应该可以做到更好

他们永远不会满足于现状

他们我们做的好是理所当然的事

 

拜托，有些事不是必然的

我们努力做好

为了自己，为了你们

只是有些事别要求的太过份

适得其反啊

 

我家也有难念的经

只是我不想自卸伤口给大家看

我认为 有些事不是一定要说

我自己 承受得了

因为 朋友里有一些人性真的很邪恶

我不想受伤

亲爱的，坚强起来

亲爱的：

我很久没看推特了，那天跟你通了电话以后便立刻看完了你所有的推特（不过没看推特，我也知道大约发生了什么，不时有意无视你的哦）

不知道为什么，我竟然也很难过，心里闷闷的

我也想不到，短短的时间里，你对他的感情竟然如此刻骨铭心，也许你太感性了吧

我不置于任何评论的原因是因为

•  我是一个好的聆听者，我会将所有东西事情分析得清清楚楚，但是来到安慰人这家子事，我是实在不在行
• 你是一个很感性的人，我怕你对我说不到两句就哭了出来，我知道那很难受
• 其实整件事情来到最后，我不敢胡乱左右你的想法，毕竟事实上，你的却是一个成熟和理智的女生，我相信你可以跟着你的心找到方向，找到答案
• 安慰和质问的话我相信你也听到了很多，我只想静静地关心你、给于你支持，而不是给你无形的压力；有些话不用说出口，你会一直知道我的存在，在你心里

其实在打这篇帖子的时候，我停停顿顿，我在思考该写些什么，毕竟有太多的话，不是三言两语就说得清。当然你别想到在这件事再听到我的意见（我想收回我之前的评语，因为我觉得那是不成熟，虽然说没有完全错，可是无论在你角度或者你父母的角度，都有不一样的看法，重点是你心的抉择）我说过，我不会左右你的想法。你听，你的心声，它会告诉你答案。

虽然我恋爱过，但是好像没你那么的爱到骨子里（反正我就是忘了喜欢是什么感觉，心痛是什么感觉，只是觉得我没像你一样，痛那么就，哭这么久）也许是因为你感性吧

写这篇帖子，只是想告诉你。你的心，虽然被迷雾掩埋着，但是你认真听，它会告诉你答案，请跟着你的心走，因为你是一个成熟的女生，相信你的直觉。

还有，永远记着，你心的隔壁的一个位子里，有我。我会一直默默支持你，任何一个决定，因为你是亲爱的。

爱情枯萎了，心碎了，梦醒了，人生还是得前进的。看看前面，有的没的，都在等待你。故事不会结束，结局怎样，就看你如何去写它，如何去抉择。

请相信自己，没什么难关过不了；这次的痛，是为了未来的路而历练

哭过了，就该站起来

ps:下面的句子，为你找的，希望你会领悟些什么。

世间可以流逝一切，爱却可以永驻，尽管爱的那么忧伤。只有记忆，将会以一种深刻的不可触及的形式，存留在心里。

 时间与记忆背道而驰，记忆被投递到虚无之中，开始成为无始无终。

爱情总是患得患失的时候最美好，如果不去开始的话，也永远不会消逝，可是，谁又会按捺住不去开始呢？

因为我们面对着的，是更多的消失和告别

如果没法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

爱一个人，你是会自爱的

宁愿笑这流泪 也不哭着说后悔

如果没有了眼泪，心是一片干涸的湖

擦身而过，也是一种很深的缘分

爱一个人不是要拥有他，只要在远方默默地注视他，也就心满意足

我们放下个性,放下原则,放下自由,只是因为放不下一个人

最深最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长

关于爱的记忆，要好好收藏，只是今后的幸福，要各自寻找　　

感情有时候只是一个人的事情。和任何人无关。爱，或者不爱，只能自行了断

我们也有过美好的回忆，只是让泪水染得模糊了

爱是一种甜蜜的痛苦，真诚的爱情永不是一条平坦的道路的爱，和炭相同，烧起来，得想办法叫它冷却。 
让它任意着，那就要把一颗心烧焦
莎士比亚曾说过:TO BE OR NOT TO BE that is a questionDon‘t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
      
  站在原地不能动弹，未必就是不好的。
　　泡泡可以离开，但是离开后的泡泡就不是泡泡了。
　　保持一个安全的姿态，蜷缩，仰望，
　　原来天空竟如此刺眼。
　　在爱里，离开，也许是为了更好的相聚。
　　也许，会是幸福的坟墓！

在转身离开的时候，心会象开了一个缺口，那么空荡荡的，感受地到阵阵寒风来袭。
最好的方法，其实是把伤口堵住。就象受伤的狮子一样，独自蜷缩在山洞里，默默疗伤，拒绝打扰
 
我不知道是否抬起头，天空就会亮起来，但是我知道，如果一直低着头无论如何都不会亲眼看到蔚蓝的天空。

爱情的对和错再提起，早已经没有了意义，生命是一场不停的旅行，分与合的距离，一念间终成定局

既然爱情已成为过去，又何必执迷不悟；既然受了伤，就要学会疗伤

生於這世上，沒有一樣感情不是千瘡百孔

明白的人懂得放弃，真情的人懂得牺牲

不用说什么，你只要记得，下次我恋爱或者失恋，你要听我讲心事噢！没得耍赖，此帖为证

 

癌

嗯呀，眼睁睁望着部落格也不知道要写什么

我朋友讲：“你讲多东西要写？没东西写就不要写”

唉，我就是想写

当我打“唉”这个字就看到“癌”这个字

看到“癌”这个字就想起我的表哥

我的表哥 - 第四期肺癌，也就是说末期
我真的不知道要说些什么

我看见我三姨一家也许开始接受了这个不争的事实，他们说话的时候得面容不是愁眉苦脸，而是无奈、激动掺杂以一些苦笑

表哥就这样三十三岁人，真的造化弄人，表姐一直说是 - 天意

我不知道他们带着什么心情，我也很疑惑为什么表姐要将表哥躺在病床上的病态拍下来，她也将他的每一处开始腐烂的伤口拍下来然后给我们看，我真的不明白，也没胆去问

表姐非常疼爱她的弟弟（表哥），她一讲到他的弟弟就神色很激动，然后眼神开始放空。虽然她神色自诺，但是她的面容已经出卖了她，她的面容在影射---我真的很疲倦，我无法睡好

听三姨他们说我表哥的老婆（已离婚）不知道为什么在这最后的时期忽然激发我表哥要生存的欲望，表格一直喃喃地说要好起来。可是看他那开始腐烂的伤口，我们看那都是有心无力，医生说病菌已经开始在腐蚀他的细胞。

我三姨很不赞成我表哥重拾斗志，因为这样他会很辛苦，即好不了也离不去，就咽着那口气，也带痛苦给家人。我不知道她最后一句话是什么意思，是他们开始累了还是再也不忍心看到表哥受苦。末期癌症如果真的靠意志力还是可以挽回性命，当然得支持下去，但是医生也摇头说不可能。为何还要折磨下去？

我表哥的却是痛苦的，因为他每一天都要打吗啡，他会所通到他无法自拔，他时时都在冒冷汗。癌症的痛是无法言喻的，它比女人生孩子痛上千倍万倍，就这样我表哥痛了三个月。

有时我仰望星空，那星星真的少得可怜，死了的人难道真的会变成星星，这是个童话吧。死了的人去哪里？真的有地狱和天堂？

年初一

啦啦啦，写部落格啦（这帖子昨天重复写了两轮，然后因有事而没储存到，唉〜）

今天农历初一，向大家拜年啦

大家新年快乐，万事如意啊！

恭喜发财，红包都给我拿来，哈哈

一大早妈咪就将我从甜梦中唤醒，我很悃啊（已经中午12点了，可是本小姐早上六点才睡啊）

新年当然要穿到红当当，穿粉红也很喜气啊

我将我的长发烫成浪漫成熟波浪卷，再配上粉红色的中国国宝_熊猫帽子。

出门拜年前当然要向父母讨红包啦，父母的红包是最大份的（邪恶的笑）

我们家拜年历年来都是很有仪式的，就是长辈坐在已经准备好的椅子上，然后小辈当然站着讨红包啦！讨红包前至少要讲五句贺语才可以领红包啊（我们只差没斟茶下跪罢了，娶媳妇么？！）

每年初一全部都会聚集到三叔家拜年（他家够大，小食够多，哈哈）

三叔很慷慨，他给我们家一支价值不菲的红酒。三叔也不断从他的酒窟那红酒，我们快将他的红酒喝光（不会喝光啦，他家几百支红酒），我的大伯可喝到醉了。我最喜欢的是Grape Soda 和 外国啤酒。

我的日本表姐夫带了几个日本人来拜年，有一个相当的帅。我的表姐们絮絮不休原来在讨论男人，听说那些日本人很有钱哦，又有一个告诉我说他们很骄傲。唉，我们家兔不一样，我没兴趣啦，他们又不是金灿灿的外国人（额〜-_-#）

在那边呆了几个小时，妈咪原本说要去东禅寺，但先回家弄汤圆。

一年一次弄汤圆，我当然很兴奋咯！我比较喜欢弄西餐甜品啊。搓搓搓，好累啊，汤圆都是我一人包办。我弄的是绿豆汤圆，我还额外搓了十多粒里面是有绿豆馅的，绿豆陷可是蛮难弄的，谁幸运就有得吃咯！当然我本人可是懂哪粒有哪粒没有噢！

弄了汤圆都已经过了两个小时，我们都觉得累了就没去东禅寺而改去甲洞吃东西。我带着我的熊猫帽子可是回头率100%，有个老板说：＂啊，你帽子很可爱啊＂哈哈哈，害我不敢望人了（虚伪中==）

一天就结束了，明天初二继续拜年咯！看看照片吧！

那些爱

有些东西等到失去了，才懂得珍惜，那不是很可笑吗

如果没有勇气，那你愿意错过你喜欢的人？

你反口不是你喜欢上他了，而是一直待在身边的人你再也抓不牢了，因为你曾经把他当成理所当然

原来除掉爱情，我们一点交集也没有，回到原点_陌生人

Complain

Nothing to say, no story to tell, cause everyday is same for me, and it's just like no point for my life for instantly. Yeah, I hope it's just instantly.

While come to every Friday, my activities are go for a movie and night market. Today it's a bit excited cause maybe I can get 1D T-shirt. You know how amazing is it?

Sitting on my sofa and searching net, sometime dreaming and sometime act silly stuff. That's how my life going on now.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner, not more than 2 days and I don't feel excited but I don't know why. Maybe I know some of the reason but I'm trying to ignore it. JUST IGNORE ME.

I have to curb my spending habit cause I have no income right now. Only left few hundred for me till I find myself a job, I think so. My parents do not give me pocket money, sigh.

One day have passed and do not know what to do next. A very meaningless life. Enjoy please, maybe I have no more chance for that. Do not complain.

Replied

I'm so happy happy happy cause he has replied long long long massage to me. Unfortunately, he is preparing for his exam on this coming Monday. He told me maybe we can meet after few weeks.

Haiz, who want join me sing k before 8th?
Cause at least 3 students each room then we can pay RM6 each person. The condition is really nice, I went there once before with my brother which located opposite Jusco Balakong. Kinda near from my house, I means not far, 15 min can reach there!